I caught it. The hardening towards anger, the sharp edge of sleeplessness cutting into the morning. Casting blame around like confetti. Tears welling as I poured water in a slow circle over the coffee grounds, a holy ritual to bless the day, even now, even now, coaxing the dark elixir that comforts and revives. I caught sight of that tide as it swelled, seeing it unfurl fully before me: the yelling that would soon come, the desire to hit and hurt, maybe even the hitting of things. The wave of despair and its anguished narration. Can one tired hand, a hand bedazzled with mysterious and painful bug bites acquired in the night, calm that raging tide? What if I choose softness instead? I unwrapped my shoulders from around my ears. Sank into surrender in the armchair, nursing my baby. What if I choose softness instead. Let's find out.
Linking up with Christina Rosalie's Just One Paragraph.
yesterday i chose to let it out.
ReplyDeletei was choosing softness, repressing the sleep-deprived irritability, only to have it volcano. so we shed tears together, hugged together, and rode the tide back in. believing that always there is love.