Tuesday, July 23

"what showing up means"

What does it mean to agree to show up? It means that the tired can wait. That it's almost irrelevant. You go anyway, despite all the excellent reasons not to go. If only the notebook, the blinking cursor on the computer screen were as loud and insistent as a screaming infant. All of this I chose--the children, two beautiful boys, this way of being in the world called a writer.Yet I kick back, dig my heels in so often, no no no I don't want to go. But even if I have to be dragged, I show up. And once I'm there, I'm there. My pen & paper, my two-month old son, know nothing of my reluctance and resentment. They know nothing of the difficulty of choosing again and again. They don't know that on some days it's a minor miracle that I'm there at all. All they know is my hand, my heart, my breath, my scent: there there there. And they are the ones who teach me--that showing up means everything. 

Linking up with Christina Rosalie's Just One Paragraph.

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