and so, to begin

Months sneak up on me. We were 10 days into October before I realized I hadn't turned the page on my Nikki McClure calendar. My baby boy is almost six months. Time escapes my fingers like so much sand, even as each minute of each day slithers slow as molasses. And here we are. November.

I hadn't considered jumping on board with NaBloPoMo until about an hour ago. But Karen wrote about it. Andrea wrote about it. My dearest Amanda has drawn up a lovely list of prompts for each day. And I had such an amazing experience playing along with Christina this summer, showing up to write a paragraph each day. So, why the hell not. November--here we go. Once a day.

The truth is I can use something like this right about now. A little bit of structure. A little bit of motivation. Something entirely mine, and at the same time something that is bigger than me. The truth is there isn't a single piece of my life that doesn't feel like a total mess right now, and I don't know which end to first pick out of the tangle and begin to unravel. This is a good a place as any to start.

To show up. Daily. Fully. To tell the truth. More than likely with Lorde loud in my headphones, ignoring the chaos all around. Making space for the order of letter, black on white, lined up, making words, making sentences. Making sense out of these days. This life of mine. Making it mine.