return

It's March 4th. Do you know where your New Year's resolutions are?

One of the intentions I set for myself this year (I prefer the term "intention" rather than "resolution" as I find it holds gentler and deeper meaning) was to focus on my writing as craft, and to do so, I would devote 10 minutes a day to writing practice. This would most often be done longhand, and following one of Amanda's prompts. I started strong early in the year, with a new notebook (!) dedicated to this purpose. And, most nights, I made the time to write. And then February happened.

 Not. One. Page.

(Of course I do plenty of writing in my Moleskine journal but those pages have an entirely other purpose. Keeping me sane, for one. Keeping me clear.)

So last night, cuddled in bed against the biting bitter cold, with a hot rice bag tucked at my feet and a hot cup of tea at my elbow, I decided I would come back to writing practice. And the prompt? Return. Ha!

Isn't is such a beautiful word? There is a sound of comfort in it, an echo of home. Of the relief we feel when we come back to where we are meant to be.

To return is the basic meditation instruction. When we sit to begin our meditation practice, we place our attention on the breath, on the gentle, wavelike rising and falling of the breath. The idea is to keep our awareness on the breath throughout the whole allotted time, but the understanding is that our mind will inevitably get carried away from its object of attention. But the fact that the mind strays from its goal is not considered a problem. In fact, the hallmark of a successful meditation practice isn't whether or not the mind wanders, or how many times, but rather the gentleness and kindness with which we return our awareness to the breath. Meditation is the practice of starting over. And over. And over.

I feel that we very seldom allow gentleness and kindness to lead us when we set intentions to either start a new habit, or to release an old one that no longer serves. Instead, we muscle into it. We make brave and rigid promises about frequency and duration and give ourselves stern talking-tos about how we really mean it this time. And in doing so, we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment because (say it with me!) to err is human. Launching a new habit or practice takes dedication, yes, but also a lot of time and kindness towards ourselves.

What if we entered this business of resolutions and intentions as we do a meditation practice? By taking it as a given that we will stray from our path, and not viewing such wanderings as a problem. What if we measured our success not by a strict adherence to our prescribed course, but rather gauged the worth of our efforts by the spirit of kindness with which we bring ourselves back to the path? What if we gave ourselves the grace of fresh new beginnings, not just in January but all the time, every day, with each breath? What would you begin again if you hadn't already convinced yourself you had failed? How would you return home?

Tell me. I'd love to know.

Find excellent meditation instruction here.

Following Write ALM's March Prompt-A-Day.

Having waaaayy too much fun with the Diana Photo App.

remaking my mornings

What matters is simply this: your intent to claim the day with gusto and bravery and longing. What matters is waking up and asking, What can I be today?, and then devoting a small handful of moments to this task of wonderment. That is all.  -Christina Rosalie, A Field Guide to Now

If you've been reading here for a while, you know that remaking and tweaking my morning routine is something I do periodically, and with great enthusiasm. I am a devoted morning person--just the word itself fills me with this fresh sense of possibility. Also, morning is the time of day when one drinks coffee. But more than that--I believe that an intentional, well-orchestrated morning is the key to setting the tone for the day ahead. And when one is, as I am, the pregnant  stay-at-home mama of a busy toddler, setting a positive and beneficial tone for the day is absolutely necessary.

With the start of the new year, and on the heels of ten days of major and delicious holiday laziness, my mornings were in need of a reboot. Thinking back on a few of my favorite resources to inspire intentional mornings, I've been contemplating what the essential building blocks of a nourishing and energizing morning might be for me at this stage.

Left to my own devices, here is how a morning would go for me: get out of bed, join the little man in the living room. He'll quickly get engaged with his horde of Matchbox cars while I get myself a hot drink, and sit down to knit a few rows. (I usually try to be good and start with a cup of hot lemon water or honey ginger lemon tea before making coffee.) Once I've knit to my heart's content, I'll pick up a book by either Pema or Maezen, or some poetry, and read for a while. Then I'll make coffee, and break out my Moleskine and scribble out some morning pages. After all that I'll be starving, so I'll eat.

So what we're looking at is a cozy, nourishing, but completely sedentary morning. Nothing in there to get the blood pumping, to get energized. As I was reflecting on 2012 and planning for 2013 over the last few weeks, more movement has been a major theme that's come up over and over. Since I believe in using the morning to set the foundation for the whole day, it makes sense to make movement a priority starting at first light.

This is how I came to unroll my mat uncharacteristically early yesterday morning, in a wedge of light in the living room, still in my PJs. I put on a cheery music mix (also key to this year's ambitions: more cheery music) and got moving. It was pretty boring pregnant mama yoga stuff, especially since I've entered the stage when it feels like my pelvis will split apart at any moment, but I tell you, it made all the difference in my day. Generating that kind of energy early on lasted me through a whole day of errands and housekeeping alone with a whiny toddler. All it took was just one morning's session to make me a believer that this is what I need to do.

Since this is the time of year for setting resolutions, let this be mine: each morning, I will devote 10-20 minutes to mindful movement on the mat. My plan is to share an image each morning on Instagram with the hashtag #morningonthemat. I would LOVE for you to play along with me. You don't have to commit to doing it everyday, but if you do unroll your mat one of these mornings, won't you share your view? Here's to more mindful movement in 2013.

try something new: a 40-day practice

this was taken in our friends' bedroom, where we were housesiting over the weekend

It seems like the whole blogosphere is preoccupied, come September, with re-establishing rhythms or implementing new routines, which is necessary for all the members of the family, not just the youngsters returning to school, after a summer of goofing off. In the yoga community, when wanting to break an old habit or create a new one, practitioners often turn to a 40-day practice. This means committing to doing, or not doing, one specific thing for a period of 40 days. I've often read that "yogic science tells us that it takes 40 days to create or break a new habit." I can't vouch for the scientific claims of that statement; however, 40 days feels like just the right length to commit to. Not too long, so it seems manageable and you won't get discouraged, but not too short, so you have time to explore a variety of days and circumstances.

I'm a big fan of the 40-day practice, and have done a few over the years. After an especially wonderful yin yoga workshop earlier this summer I committed to a 40-day practice of doing butterfly pose in the evenings. I'd slowly moved away from practicing cooling poses in the evening, and the workshop reminded me how good they felt, and how much I missed them. The 40 days covered a tumultuous period of time for our family, involving two major trips. If I hadn't made that commitment, there are many days when I would've skipped practice even though I really needed it. That's one really nice feature of this kind of endeavor. Even for a seasoned practitioner like me, who knows how good yoga makes me feel and how much I benefit from it, the temptation is often great, especially at the end of the day, to slack off and to skip it. Having committed to a 40-day practice takes me over that hump of hesitation and settles me onto the mat where, truth be told, I am always happy to be.

I don't make it to the mat every night now that the 40 days are over, but I do so often, and when I don't, I miss it. That length of time was enough to make practicing cooling poses in the evening what feels right, what I really want to be doing. In fact, I am retooling my evening routine now to shut screens off around 9pm, and devote the time before bed to self-care and grooming, yoga, and reading real books in bed. I feel so good about that change.

My new 40-day practice I've hinted at here. Now that Silas now regularly sleeps past 6am, I can do that most wonderful thing I've been dreaming of ever since I became a mother: waking up before he does so I can have some quiet time to myself at the start of the day. Once I'm up, I splash some water on my face, then sit on my cushion, take three deep cleansing breaths, do a few upper-body stretches, then recite this aspiration for my day. Simple. If given the time, I'll stay longer, do some breathwork, and maybe even meditate for a whole 10 minutes. The mornings I get to do all that are lovely. But just having settled on the cushion for even a few brief moments centers me, roots me, and makes me feel accomplished: one more day of 40 in which I kept this commitment to myself.

I've mostly used the concept of the 40-day practice for yoga; however, you could do any number of things. You could commit to 40 days of green smoothies, 40 days of reading a few pages of fiction, 40 days of getting outside with your family no matter the weather or circumstances, 40 days of mindful breathing, journaling, no Facebooking, no gossipping, no gluten, etc, etc. 40 days is a nice length of time in which to explore making changes that have been nagging at you without having to commit to changing your whole life. 40 days is short enough to be doable, yet it is long enough to change your life.



Won't you join me? I'd love to hear what changes you've been meaning to make, old habits to break, or new ones to embrace. Maybe a 40-day practice be right for you? Would you be interested in a small, mindful community of support and accountability to see you through your own 40-day practice? Do share your thoughts in the comments below!

a net for catching days

"a schedule is a net for catching days." -annie dillard

Here are a few things you should know about me:

1. I have a lifelong obsession with stationary in general, and Moleskines in particular.
2. The words "list" and "schedule" and "system" are very. very exciting to me.
3. I have gleefully wasted entire afternoons, pre-baby, endlessly researching GTD hacks and the like online.

Here are a few more things: there isn't much to organize in my life as a stay-at-home mama who teaches a little yoga here and there, and what there is to schedule and remember is terrifically taken care of by my iPhone calendar and its blessed reminders. And, I am prone to optimistically carrying a pocket Moleskine around in my bag for months without cracking its spine.

While there isn't much in my days to keep track of, still I felt a need for some kind of intentional system, a way of checking in with myself about what I wanted to get done each day. I noticed that certain tasks, like baking or cleaning the bathroom, would go undone not because I didn't have time or couldn't manage with my toddler around, but because I would go entire days without giving them a thought. Put all of this together, then bring on the advent of my new morning routine, add a little inspiration from SimpleMom's Daily Docket, and my new system of A Net For Catching Days is born.

 I have been using this system now for about a month, and I love it. It has helped me to do more of the things I intend to each day. It has been a fantastic meal-planning tool, and a most pleasant addition to my morning routine. And my previously lonely pocket Moleskine is now happily filled with purpose!

The categories have evolved over the weeks, and I'm pretty happy with where they have now settled. The beauty of this way, way analog system is that I can adjust it as needed. Pen and paper FTW! Here's what I've come up with:

inspiration: Here I write a few words from one of my morning readings. More than once, I recalled whatever I wrote down at a critical moment during my day, which has allowed me to exhale and cool down.

life experiment: To remind me of what I'm experimenting with that week.

make: What I'll be cooking & eating that day (more on this below.)

do: Things I need to do (ditto.)

blog: Posts I need to write, emails to send, comments to respond to.

move: What my exercise plan is for the day.

net: This will be a rough outline of the day. I don't plan at what time things should happen, just the sequence of events.

notes: This space has rarely gotten used but I think it's nice to have it.

In addition to the daily single page spread you see up there, I also use both sides of a half 3x5 index card like so:

One one side ("make") I write down my meal plan for the week. This usually means scrolling through my Pinterest food board, choosing our meals, and writing up a grocery list all in one go. On the other side ("do") I write down tasks that need to be accomplished over the week. I refer to this each morning and see what fits in my "net" for that day.

I am no slave to the lists. Some items get passed over from day to day, even week to week, and it's totally fine. The purpose of my system isn't to create some rigid boundaries, but constant gentle reminders of how I intend to use my time. It's been a great success. If nothing else, I deeply enjoy the ritual of cracking open my little Moleskine, drawing the lines around another day, and planning for the hours ahead. Just that gives me a lovely sense of being organized and together.

As I said before, I love geeking out over this kind of stuff, so if you've found a system that works for you, please share in the comments below, or link to your own blog post on the subject. I'm always looking for new ideas, and I'm excited to see how this little tool will evolve over time.

life experiment 2: movement and mindfulness

"Live your life as though it were an experiment." -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

See previous Life Experiment here.

Now that my morning routine is well established, and that I've been tremendously enjoying a steady stream of poetry along with my coffee, it's time to tackle another project. This one will involve much less fluffiness and a whole lot more fierceness: yes, it's time to get in shape.

I feel there is really no need to go into a long explanation of why this is a necessary step--I'm sure you can relate. Suffice it to say that I could stand to lose a few pounds, not so much because of the way I look--though there is that--but mostly because of the way I feel. Caring for a toddler is a workout all on its own, but it doesn't provide the endorphin payoff of just bringing it on the treadmill while Madonna or Florence + The Machine are belting it out in my ears. (And, more than just occasionally, INXS. Don't judge.) Since the beginning of the year, I have let my gym membership lapse, and have really felt the effects of not showing up there. I'm all squared away now, and I'm so, so very thrilled to be back.

My routine there is twofold: one, I sneak into one of the free racquetball courts, roll out my mat, and do about 20-30 minutes of yoga, with some strong vinyasa and core strength elements. (More on that below.) Then, I hit the treadmill, fire up a C25K app on my iPhone, and go. I plan on adding a weight regime in the next few weeks. Despite the fact that I often feel anything but, working out at the gym makes me feel strong, beautiful and capable. It's a great feeling--and that great feeling is more valuable to me than any weight loss (although that would be nice, too.) Karen Walrond wrote a great post on this subject over at Babble: check it out.

I spend this past Saturday in a workshop with yogini extraordinaire Sadie Nardini, and I've started her online 14-Day Yoga Fat Burner course, which consists of doing the following 20-minute practice everyday, along with some weight loss and healthy eating tips. The sequence is challenging, but totally do-able, and safe for most people.

I'm also taking a long hard look at my eating habits. Not so much what I eat, but how. We have a pretty healthy diet at home. I do a lot of cooking, almost entirely from whole foods: lots of quinoa and kale, you know the drill. But I have a strong tendency to fall prey to emotional eating, and mindless snacking. To help me notice, identify, and change those habits, I have been reading Mindful Eating by Jan Chozen Bays. I'm only a little bit into it, but so far it's been really eye-opening.

Just setting foot on this path gives me a calm feeling of strength and possibility. I feel I have really come at a point where I am ready, physically, emotionally and intellectually, to do this. I'll keep you posted on my progress! In the meantime, I'd love to hear about YOUR life experiments, especially those relating to exercise and eating. Are you going Paleo, or sugar-free? Training for a half-marathon? Leave a comment, or a link to your own blog below.


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PS I have removed the feed for my 365 photo-a-day project from the main page of the blog; you can still see my daily images by clicking on the tab above, which will take you to my Posterous blog. I'll continue to share a couple of images on here each week, just not everyday.

life experiment: create a morning routine

"Live your life as an experiment." -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

:: :: ::

Welcome to a new weekly feature on Mama Here Now! I love the above quote: if we live our lives as an experiment, then we have the freedom to try new things, to make mistakes, to correct our course and try again! Each week I will choose an area to focus on and experiment with. This week: creating a morning routine.

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I am a morning person. I love the blank slate of a new day, the comforting hot beverage (tea pre-baby; coffee since), and the rituals that accompany them. There is something about the morning that invites repetition: I wouldn't want to eat the same lunch more than two days in a row, but I will gladly eat the same breakfast for weeks on end. Before little Silas came along and blurred the edges of morning and night, I had a pretty set little morning routine that I loved. It involved tea, yoga, meditation, reading, and writing. Certain books lend themselves to morning reading: over the years I've sat with Thomas Merton, Kathleen Norris, Pema Chodron, Karen Maezen Miller, Jon Kabat-Zinn, the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao Te Ching. With Jane Kenyon, Jane Hirshfield. And Mary Oliver, always Mary Oliver, that Poet Patron Saint of Mornings.

Now that our night life is a somewhat less wild, and our mornings are smoother and more pleasant, I feel it's time to reconsider a morning routine. I've been inspired by Tsh of Simple Mom, who in her book One Bite At A Time, encourages us moms to "treat ourselves to a little order and sanity before the chaos of life begins."

Choose five things, and plan to do them first thing in the morning. Pick the things that fuel you the most, and faithfully treat yourself to those things, in the same order, every day... Discover a sweet morning routine that fills your cup.

After careful consideration, I have settled on the following five things:


::tend:: This means splash water on my face, make my bed, maybe even get dressed. I don't feel myself unless my body & my bed are dressed and presentable.

::stretch:: A few yoga stretches to work the kinks of the previous day and night out of my body, to root, energize and oxygenate myself, to begin the day clear and peaceful

::coffee:: Need I explain? My idea of a perfect morning is to drink my big Orla Kiely mug hot down to the last sip without having to reheat it. This rarely happens. Still, I love me my coffee.

::read:: See list of authors above. These days it's been Everyday Blessings by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn.

::write:: Now here, what I mean is to write up a little list & plan for the day ahead. There is no time for morning pages or any involved sort of journaling, but it will mean pulling out my Moleskine notebook and putting pen to paper. And that is sweet enough for me.

Hopefully I can get all this done between waking and the end of Sesame Street, and then I will be ready to take on a day with a toddler. Sure sounds good.


Do you have a morning routine? Might it be time for you to consider something similar? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!